drama queen
December 2007 
Movements Of The Sensitive Man (Part Deux)
Posted on Sep 8th, 2006
by 
David Jon
David Jon
'Feelings... nothing more than feelings...
Whoa...ohh...ohhh...ohhh... Feelings.'
Remember that sappy-song from the 1970's--so syrupy and sticky sweet that it stuck inside of you regardless of what you... er... uhm... felt about it? I wonder if that song would be a good 'theme song' for the movement to get Men more in touch with their sensitive-side. Come on guys, we could all light candles and gather round a cricle, listen to that song before we put on the Carpenters Greatest Hits for the rest of the evening. Sound like fun to you. Wanna sign up? I'll get the 'Sensitive Man' Pod going pronto!!
______________
Actually, you know I am joking, don't you? Not that I have an aversion to 'feelings' the sort of which poets and troubadours, romantics and soap-opera vixens know all too well. I love feelings. Feelings are good. Feelings are vital and rich and nourishing of the human-condition. We would be... er... uhm.... well.... virtual zombies without the capacity to 'feel.'
My concern, though, is that there is something amiss in the over-sensitization of people to their 'feelings,' as if these whimsome ephemera of consciousness were the royal road to freedom and liberation. Perhaps that is part and parcel of living in the Age of Psychological Humanity--the post-Freudian, post-Jungian, post-Rogerian, post-Oprah era where everyone's feelings were given such great importance. After too long being denied the right to say what we all 'felt' it turned out that there was a literal 'feeding frenzy' of emotional exhibitionism. Yeah, I like that phrase---emotional exhibitionism. That I think describes it well: that many now wanted to be able to display their 'emotions' after having gone through the hyper-repressed Victorian-Era; where the tight-stitched and starched clothes matched the button-downed and corsetted emotional displays of those subject to that Era.
So we swung like that as a species (though I do acknowledge a Euro-centric bent to my argument here for all of post-colonial, post-coital freaks out there, SO DON'T GET ALL RUFFLED!). We went from the total denial of emotional exhibitionism, ala pre-Fruedian historical epoch... to being like a flaming gay pissed at his lover for calling him a 'drama queen,' ala post-Freud!
'You listen here Honey....' (can you see my finger wagging back-and-forth as I talk).
_________________________________________
Of course, the sense is that we are all going to be 'healed' and 'set-free' by being able to be emotional exhibitionists. Don't 'hold back' is the unspoken motto The figurative message of the Sensitivity Movement is that we are to 'hold no emotional fever within.' Take the friggin' lid of of your repressed psyche and let the babies come out and play! Come on. Set yourself free!!
Oh... but wait a New York minute here! Not so fast. Where are we releasing all of our emotional exhibitions to? Where are they going? Do they just exit us and we are relieved of the psychic pressure that was building within us from under-expressed emotions and feelings? Do they just disappear? Or is something else going on? Something like the possibility that we are releasing our emotions and feelings out 'into the Greater Community' around us.
What if our emotions don't dissipate and we are not liberated from them in the way it is often assumed by the proponents and purveyours of the Sensitivity Movement? What if there is a sort of Thermodynamics of Emotional Exhibitionism and the unspoken assumption that we are supposed to display our emotions is --- from the standpoint of Community --- both ignorant and unethical.
What if the wiser path of the Sensitivity Movement is to now begin to consider what, where, and when is a proper release of Energy (which is what emotions and feelings actually are in their essence)? What if emotional exhibitionism for the sake of exhibiting our emotional, sensitive... yes, our oh so sensitive... self... is both psychologically shallow and under-informed as well as communally irresponsible and ... er... uhm.... pretty much narcissistic?
What if in the post-Freudian era everyone is a 'Drama Queen' to one degree or another?
'Now you listen here Sista.... I've had about enough of....
(Oh yes, comes with more finger-wagging). ; o)
Whoa...ohh...ohhh...ohhh... Feelings.'
Remember that sappy-song from the 1970's--so syrupy and sticky sweet that it stuck inside of you regardless of what you... er... uhm... felt about it? I wonder if that song would be a good 'theme song' for the movement to get Men more in touch with their sensitive-side. Come on guys, we could all light candles and gather round a cricle, listen to that song before we put on the Carpenters Greatest Hits for the rest of the evening. Sound like fun to you. Wanna sign up? I'll get the 'Sensitive Man' Pod going pronto!!
______________
Actually, you know I am joking, don't you? Not that I have an aversion to 'feelings' the sort of which poets and troubadours, romantics and soap-opera vixens know all too well. I love feelings. Feelings are good. Feelings are vital and rich and nourishing of the human-condition. We would be... er... uhm.... well.... virtual zombies without the capacity to 'feel.'
My concern, though, is that there is something amiss in the over-sensitization of people to their 'feelings,' as if these whimsome ephemera of consciousness were the royal road to freedom and liberation. Perhaps that is part and parcel of living in the Age of Psychological Humanity--the post-Freudian, post-Jungian, post-Rogerian, post-Oprah era where everyone's feelings were given such great importance. After too long being denied the right to say what we all 'felt' it turned out that there was a literal 'feeding frenzy' of emotional exhibitionism. Yeah, I like that phrase---emotional exhibitionism. That I think describes it well: that many now wanted to be able to display their 'emotions' after having gone through the hyper-repressed Victorian-Era; where the tight-stitched and starched clothes matched the button-downed and corsetted emotional displays of those subject to that Era.
So we swung like that as a species (though I do acknowledge a Euro-centric bent to my argument here for all of post-colonial, post-coital freaks out there, SO DON'T GET ALL RUFFLED!). We went from the total denial of emotional exhibitionism, ala pre-Fruedian historical epoch... to being like a flaming gay pissed at his lover for calling him a 'drama queen,' ala post-Freud!
'You listen here Honey....' (can you see my finger wagging back-and-forth as I talk).
_________________________________________
Of course, the sense is that we are all going to be 'healed' and 'set-free' by being able to be emotional exhibitionists. Don't 'hold back' is the unspoken motto The figurative message of the Sensitivity Movement is that we are to 'hold no emotional fever within.' Take the friggin' lid of of your repressed psyche and let the babies come out and play! Come on. Set yourself free!!
Oh... but wait a New York minute here! Not so fast. Where are we releasing all of our emotional exhibitions to? Where are they going? Do they just exit us and we are relieved of the psychic pressure that was building within us from under-expressed emotions and feelings? Do they just disappear? Or is something else going on? Something like the possibility that we are releasing our emotions and feelings out 'into the Greater Community' around us.
What if our emotions don't dissipate and we are not liberated from them in the way it is often assumed by the proponents and purveyours of the Sensitivity Movement? What if there is a sort of Thermodynamics of Emotional Exhibitionism and the unspoken assumption that we are supposed to display our emotions is --- from the standpoint of Community --- both ignorant and unethical.
What if the wiser path of the Sensitivity Movement is to now begin to consider what, where, and when is a proper release of Energy (which is what emotions and feelings actually are in their essence)? What if emotional exhibitionism for the sake of exhibiting our emotional, sensitive... yes, our oh so sensitive... self... is both psychologically shallow and under-informed as well as communally irresponsible and ... er... uhm.... pretty much narcissistic?
What if in the post-Freudian era everyone is a 'Drama Queen' to one degree or another?
'Now you listen here Sista.... I've had about enough of....
(Oh yes, comes with more finger-wagging). ; o)
Access: PublicTagged with: sensitive, Freud, Jung, emotions, feelings, Humanity, Psychological, narcissistic, Sensitivity Movement, Emotional Exhibitionism, drama queen, feelings, Oprah, New York, Energy
Interesting stuff, David Jon. I’ve thought about this before, although I can’t promise any mind-blowing insight. I hear what you’re saying about emotional exhibitionism and the perils of the Sensitivity Movement. One thing that comes to mind: Psychological health is about having the freedom to express oneself. When a person is repressed, they really don’t have a choice. They have to hold back, or at least they are heavily conditioned to do so. So, for the repressed individual, learning how to express oneself seems like a necessary step toward psychological health. Freedom means (to me anyway) not being a slave to some pattern of behavior.
But some people can get stuck in a pattern of continual emotional discharge that is as unhealty as repression. I’m thinking of the angry father who always screams at and beats his kids. He’s not holding back a thing, but he’s still stuck in a pattern and is compelled to act in this way, at least partly due to a lack of awareness. He has no self-control, which means he also has no emotional freedom. A person who is emotionally free can choose restraint or release, and can do either in creative ways to suit the situation.
These days it does seem like more and more people are Drama Queens, looking for attention more than emotional freedom. Everyone’s the star of their own Reality TV show, hoping to get discovered and whisked off to Hollywood.
Excellent Bob!
You're hitting the nail on the head so far as I can see!
“A person who is emotionally free can choose restraint or release, and can do either in creative ways to suit the situation.”
How true?
A toast to emotional freedom!!
David Jon
P.S. I wonder–going on a tangent here–what role Tantra has to play in this. You know, that whoe spiel about retaining your uhm….. ahem…. well… My point being that I wonder if that is a physical correlate of a deeper psychological/spiritual issue (as revealed in emotional discharges…. like premature emotional ejaculation or something!!)
Me thinks there is much to be said for being able to abide with awareness as pressure and tension builds…. rather than seeking an escape or release. That in order to experience the truth of liberation and enlightenment we need… truly need… to be able to abide with awareness in those intensely pressurized environments where it is as if all the detritus is squeezed out of us so that only the essential remains. That maybe why being triggered emotionall is a good thing—and why the fight or flight response is arche-enemy number 1. Because in fight or flight there is not an opportunity for the tension to build, for the pressure to crescendo enough so that coal can be transformed into the diamond-like awareness of the Vajra-holder.